Author of 14 teen novels and many LA Times articles and stuff like that.
website: www.AmyGoldmanKoss.net
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Saturday, July 5, 2014
Moving the Folks
The link below takes you to an op-ed in the LA Times about moving my folks into assisted living.
It's not for everyone
... Nonetheless, here it is.
xo Amy
Thank you for this, it was good and sad and thought provoking. I am struck by how our parents understand what is happening on one level yet not on a deeper level. They can reconcile the need for something to happen, but not what we want for them. It makes me question everything I do. Who says that we know the right path? It seems obvious at times and mysterious at others. I found myself saying "Oh good," when you mentioned being backed up by the cardiologist.
A few years ago we needed to move my in-laws out of their large, unsafe home. My mother-in-law was adamant that she would not sell her home, which was unsafe and also unaffordable anymore. My mother-in-law's Alzheimers was to the point where she would try to control everything we did, but she also slept up to 20 hours a day, so we staged the house, sold it, packed it up, and moved them while she was asleep or out of the house by putting all the boxes in an unused room. She kind of noticed some changes, but we found excuses for it that she believed. I call it the Great Houdini Project. We told her that the house needed earthquake repair and other large projects and she would live at a condo (purchased and decorated) until it was ready. She knew something was wrong and she wanted to go home all the time, but couldn't remember what home was, or where. It was so sad, but needed to be done. My father-in-law is in end stages Parkinson's disease and they have 24/7 care at the condo at this point.
My heart goes out to you with your "difficult transition". Carol Penido, La Canada
2 comments:
Thank you for this, it was good and sad and thought provoking. I am struck by how our parents understand what is happening on one level yet not on a deeper level. They can reconcile the need for something to happen, but not what we want for them. It makes me question everything I do. Who says that we know the right path? It seems obvious at times and mysterious at others. I found myself saying "Oh good," when you mentioned being backed up by the cardiologist.
This was so well written and relate-able, Amy.
A few years ago we needed to move my in-laws out of their large, unsafe home. My mother-in-law was adamant that she would not sell her home, which was unsafe and also unaffordable anymore. My mother-in-law's Alzheimers was to the point where she would try to control everything we did, but she also slept up to 20 hours a day, so we staged the house, sold it, packed it up, and moved them while she was asleep or out of the house by putting all the boxes in an unused room. She kind of noticed some changes, but we found excuses for it that she believed. I call it the Great Houdini Project. We told her that the house needed earthquake repair and other large projects and she would live at a condo (purchased and decorated) until it was ready. She knew something was wrong and she wanted to go home all the time, but couldn't remember what home was, or where. It was so sad, but needed to be done. My father-in-law is in end stages Parkinson's disease and they have 24/7 care at the condo at this point.
My heart goes out to you with your "difficult transition".
Carol Penido, La Canada
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