As I pack I tell myself, “At home I may pull on the same soggy jeans week after month, and shlump around in my ratty sneaks, but the woman I will be on vacation probably wears outfits and srappy sandals. This floral smock lurking in the depths of my closet will be perfect!”
Actually, I‘ve slipped this particular dress into many backpacks and suitcases over the millennium, so why are the tags still on it?
That's because ever since some ancient shopping bout of delusion, it has been lying in state awaiting either my radical personality change, or its own Resurrection to the thrift store. Well traveled, never worn.
Why? Because when ever I get where I’m going, I invariably find my lazy, comfort loving, ratty sneaks wearing self there waiting for me.
And yet, there's something so sweet about the packing self. The self awash with unrealistic fantasies, flush with faith in the possibility of change, willing to suspend disbelief and imagine myself as someone who holds her stomach in.
The same part of my mind that allows me to re-pack that silly dress, allows me to make New Years Resolutions, although I know I’ll unpack them next December with the tags intact.
As a fiction writer I certainly believe we are all entitled to the full range of human emotion and delusion. So -- Come the New Year I will write EVERY DAY! Fingers on the keys, mind on the plot, eyes on the screen. Perhaps cutting off one finger or toe any day I don't write -- allowing me 20 (very bloody) days off.
I will also diet and exercise like a woman who believes she is mortal -- or die trying.
And I'll either wear that damn dress -- or fly it as a symbol of fashion liberation.
I will also diet and exercise like a woman who believes she is mortal -- or die trying.
And I'll either wear that damn dress -- or fly it as a symbol of fashion liberation.
And here’s The Who performing I WON’T GET FOOLED AGAIN!
Happy New Year!
xo
Amy
5 comments:
No no. This is the NEW boss!
- UB
I'm going to exercise every day...beyond brushing my teeth. I'm going to bed at 8:00 am and rising early enough to beat the sun. I will mediated 2 hours per day and leave work on time. These resolutions have lasted a lifetime. Why change now?
Happy New Year to you and yours. We are composing our unrealistic New Years resolves and will post them next week.
Sue has been in Hawaii since Nov 11 and in spite of the (yes,she packed that dress) stuff, is existing in one ratty pair of shorts, two pairs capris and three tshirts she's had since 2004.
I hope you wear the dress this time.
I'm very familiar with packing delusion. Though I essentially wear the same three things, I'm convinced the Vacation Me will want a wide variety of options daily. So many options, in fact, I've found myself faced with surcharges at airline ticket counters. Similarly, the Writing Me of Today is quite convinced that - while I may feel plumb out of ideas and have no solutions to intractable plot problems - the Writing Me of Tomorrow is a genius superhero that will get me out of every bind...
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